


In love with a boy who is Heartbroken

by Catseeroflife



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-05-30 01:02:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6401566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catseeroflife/pseuds/Catseeroflife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean fell in love with a girl who had no interest in him whatsoever, leaving him heartbroken he turns to his only friends. Only Bott, Marco Bott replies after it being so late at night. Marco Bott was almost like a perfect freckled angel. After, Marco was left in love with Kirstein, the boy who didn't know what being in love was until Marco came into his life. This boy was foolishly in love, what could go wrong?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. He was Heartbroken

Jean Kirstein-

_"Who are you"_

repeated in my head as I laid on my bed in total darkness blocking out the ticking of the grandfather clock. I groaned and turned onto my side closing my eyes tight to stop the tears from running down my face. It doesn't work. I return to staring at the blank wall, wanting to scream to get rid of this terrible feeling. "I'm not heartbroken," I promised myself, "-Just upset right now." I shook my head trying to rid the perfect image of her out of my mind. After sitting for what seemed like days of pain, everywhere, I was ashamed, and heart broken. I replay the entire day in my head

_"Hello Mikasa" Her face showed utter confusion "What do you want. Jean" the kid named "*something* Yeager" budded in. Mikasa looked at him then me, then back to him. Her face was straight, clearly pissed. I took a deep breath and was ready to face whatever I was going to get. I bowed to Mikasa and proudly said "Mikasa, will you let me take you out?" She mumbled something only the three of us could hear "Who are you?" she asked looking at me, as Yeager was cackling behind her._

That's where it ended because my mind was cluttered with making sure I stayed strong, I couldn't bare doing something embarrassing before him. Word would spread faster than a wildfire. I didn't know where to turn then, I took my shit and ran, just ran until I arrived to the place where I am. I reached for my phone and checked the time "3:59 A.M." it blinked in front of me. I unlocked my phone and texted Bott, Marco Bott, my closest friend, he would know what to do, he's good at these things. My vision got blurry when I pressed send to him at exactly 4:00 A.M. I hoped he was awake, I needed someone, now, that wouldn't ditch me at the slightest dumb problem I had. I asked him if he was up, and a few minutes later he replied with "Yea. You need to talk?" I wanted to cry, I was glad he wasn't asleep or going to blow it off until morning. Our conversation goes on until not even I can stay up any longer, and he seems that way too, the way his replies got shorter and shorter, and took longer to reply. At around 5 A.M. I fell asleep, not as upset as before, but better.

Marco Bott-

He told me everything that happened today, from when he woke up, to how he couldn't fall asleep. When he first asked me if I was awake, I was just falling asleep from a night full of studding. "What's wrong?" I asked him first, he wouldn't tell me, "Please tell me?" I asked him once more since he sincerely needed my help, because the only people awake at this time are either heartbroken or in love. I knew he wasn't in love, because he would've had no problem telling me. After a couple minutes it seemed like I cracked the egg, he trusted me. "She hates me" he said, and I waited for the rest, "-She even asked who I was, she didn't know" he continued. I could tell he was crying because he started to slow down with the replies. By the time he was done I was confused, and sympathetic for him. I honestly was wondering why would he approach her like that? In that kind of manner too. When he finally fell asleep after my counselling and small tease to go help him in hopes to make him not worry as much, I just sat there in the darkness staring at my wall, just thinking. Over and over in my head the words 

_"the only people awake at this time are those heartbroken or in love."_

_So why was I still awake? Why was I just sitting here? why was I not doing anything productive? "Love is a disease of the mind, first it controls your heart rate, then your thoughts, and finally your actions." The symptoms of love? that's silly right? No, because I'm foolishly in love with the boy that is heartbroken._


	2. I am deep in love with him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy you guys enjoyed this! Continue to read on, I will be updating everyday or when I can.

Marco Bott-

I thanked god that I had no work tomorrow and no school today, because I would be a mess. I checked the time "6:47 A.M." my alarm clock blinked as I sat there with the hazy sunbeams gliding through my drapes. I rubbed my eyes and decided I should sleep as much as I can, before Jean wakes up. I got comfortable in my bed again and prepared for the vivid dreams awaited me. I closed my eyes relieved until my alarm clock started to buzz as it would any other normal morning. Casually reaching over I slam the off button and finally get to sleep. 

_Within my dreams it was like, Jean was the only one there, but there was people racing around me everywhere. Just a sea of people, and then the only person that mattered. I would reach for him only for him to be carried away from me from the tide. Suddenly it went quiet, no one was moving, there was no noises, just me and him. He started to walk towards me, and he looked like he had a halo above his head and pure white wings coming out of his shoulder blades. I wanted to touch him but when I did he looked at me confused before walking away. Away to this girl who looked like Mikasa, and she was with Armin. It was all a terrible dream right? I mean I don't think that would happen._

I suddenly sat up frantically looking around expecting to see a sea of people, and Jean walking away from me, but I was just in my room, in silence. I looked over at the clock and it was now 9:00 A.M. At least I got a bit of sleep, even though it was the worst kind. I got out of bed adjusting to where I was, not in a dream anymore. I decided maybe a shower would help with this. Stripping down and neatly putting my clothes in the hamper. I walk to the bathroom and start my shower, I look at myself in the mirror, tired was riddled in my eyes as I looked into my reflection. "What am I doing?" I laughed to myself leaning over the sink, ashamed. Feeling the humid air of the shower I knew it was ready, and climbed in to cleanse my body.

Jean Kirstein-

I wake up too early for my taste since the clock only read 9:03. It's the weekend I should be sleeping, I deserve it. Closing my eyes and throwing a pillow on top of my face to block out the sun rays. After a few minutes I gave up on the idea of sleeping, and pulled myself out of bed. I combed my fingers through my hair stretching out my arms. I listened to the cracks and pops of my aching body after rest. I walked to my dresser and picked out some decent clothes to wear out, since I did have things to do today. I threw my boxers off, as they halfway made it into the hamper. Looking over at the wide open window I shrugged enjoying the small breeze on my bare body. Dressing myself after that was the easy part.

Leaving my room which was more of a home than the rest of my apartment. Strolling over to the kitchen I look in the fridge only to find leftovers and some fruit my mother bought for me and brought over one day. I grab one of the last apples she had brought, taking a large bite into it leaning on the counter peering into the flickering light. _"I wonder what Marco would like in return for helping me.."_ he thought to himself. "Tea?" he said without thinking. Walking back to his room he retrieved his phone and texted Marco "How does coffee at 11 sound?" He was probably still sleeping I mean i did keep him up really late last night. I feel sorry for doing that. His cat came out from hiding once in it's life. He found her in a box as a kitten, she was a sweet cat at first, picky though. He named her Popsicle hence he was eating a popsicle the summer he found her. Popsicle rubbed up against his leg, probably wanting to be fed. 

Walking to his small living room where she lived he collected her bowl and filled it with more food. Watching her eat the food left Jean time to think leaning against the old couch he had collected when he first moved in. "Wait, do I like Marco?" he mumbled to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thank my best friend for this.  
> "It was four A.M. when I answered your text. You replied right as I was falling asleep. I sighed and read your message, "You're up?" the only people actually up this late are either heartbroken or in love and I knew he was heartbroken. I rubbed my sleepy eyes and wrote back. "Yes. Need to talk?" and he did. By five A.M. he was fast asleep and I wasn't. The only people up this late are the heartbroken and in love. I was in love with the boy that was heartbroken."


	3. How about some coffee and tea?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco tries his hardest to take this little hangout just as a hangout.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that I stopped updating for a while I got really busy! Don't worry this chapter will be exciting or halfway decent.

Jean Kirstein-

"Shit it's already eleven!" I hollered running around the apartment, my shirt not even buttoned up correctly. I call up marco as he's probably wondering where I was. Marco answered and I was hopping around pulling my pants on "Marco, I'm so sorry that I'm late, I slept in and forgot, I'll be there in ten minutes tops!" He was silent for a while before I heard a small laugh from the other side, I couldn't tell if it was him or someone else. "Okay Jean, just get here soon" now it was him laughing, his small angelic laughter almost like he was trying to hold it back or cover it. Wait what if he is laughing at me, he ended the call and I finish pulling my pants up. I correct the buttons on my only nice shirt and I slip on my converse. What a nice way to top it off. " ~~It's hard to hide a boner in jeans, I can tell you that~~ \- I mean It's hard to put nice jeans on correctly" I stuttered to myself as I look into the mirror checking any imperfections. 

This small coffee date was perfect because it was less than a block away from my house, perfect, I can get there in five minutes or less. I quickly walk to coffee shop titled "Deer Avenue". Who knows why the owner named it that, it just has nice coffee and tea, and a marco waiting for me. I locate marco and he's actually sitting there calmly watching the people on the street walk. "Marco?" I ask leaning over the table a bit, before he whips his head around to me, nervous, probably because I caught him off guard. "Have you o-" he stopped me before I could finish "Yes I did, I didn't know what you wanted so I got you a water" he gently smiled, his cheek muscles moving his freckles perfectly. "Now I understand why you like to live here, it's nice and calming" he continued, looking down into his tea. He shook his head like he was getting rid of a thought, a wide smile still on his face though. I was confused, it looked like he was a happy wife as she had just been proposed to, accept this was tea, and I was here. "Marco did something happen?" I looked at him as he blew some steam away from his tea. He looked up at me, looking me in my eyes. What do I owe him this time? He interrupted my thoughts with "What would you think of hanging out at your house after this?" I was startled, relieved, and terrified. Who is this marco, well at least I don't owe him anything, and shit my apartment is a total and complete mess. "I don't mean to bother you I just think it would be nice to hang out with school and work, you know" He continued franticly a light pink blush brushed onto his cheeks. 

I agreed to do this with marco as long as I had time to clean up my apartment. I waited for the waitress to come by and ordered my regular, a black coffee, no creamer, no sugar, but a bit of honey. Marco sat there for a while, looking into his tea and taking the occasional sip, freaking out whenever he did as he claimed it was hotter than the sun. "So why did you invite me to this little hangout?" he asked after a long time of silence. "Um..." I stuttered first "I just wanted to say thank you for helping me that day, you know, with Mikasa" Wait is this the marco I know, I mean he acts the same way around the people he likes... but I don't think she's here. I looked around for her, nope no sign. I look back at Marco _What if he likes me?_ I thought to myself. I shook the idea off and finished my coffee, damn they do make this stuff really hot.

Marco Bott-

I was there several minutes early expecting Jean to be here already, but no he wasn't here waiting. Oh well, I sit at a booth next to the window, a nice place to see how the world is always moving. Armin from my social science class actually worked here, being that I saw him working at the counter, I wave to Armin before looking back out the window. Armin and I don't really talk much but we're there for eachother, so I guess that's good enough. I hear someone walking over hoping it was Jean but it was Armin coming to say hello. I wave to him again "What's up Marco, is there anything you want? It's on the house for you" he reassured patting my shoulder. As we got more into a conversation after he got my green tea I realized he was pretty funny. Hearing my phone buzz I pick up the phone "Hello this is M-" I'm stopped after Jean answers with a wheezing apology about how he was late. Armin starts laughing at what one of his female co-workers whispered in his ear. This joke gets passed onto me leaving me laughing because I admit it was pretty funny. I hang up after Jean finishes what he was saying, turning back to Armin, a serious look on my face now "Jean is coming, don't mention a word to him" I look at him plainly before he left to get me more tea.

Jean walks in panting and wearing the most interesting outfit ever. I direct my attention outside as something caught my eye. I try to look for it before jean comes, until I hear him trying to get my attention. I look at him as he has the most innocent look on his face. I would just want to reach out and rub my thumb on his cheek, I stop myself before I do and grab onto my cup of tea, smiling like a fool probably. I didn't care this was the best thing ever. It was quiet for a while before I speak up and say I got him a water. I probably stopped him midway sentence, but I couldn't bring a voice to such a beautiful face. It was very quiet for a while, not even his mouth was moving. I speak up "What would you think of hanging out at your house after this?" I look at his face, wait I scared him oh no, I quickly throw together some words in my head. "I don't mean to bother you I just think it would be nice to hang out with school and work, you know?" I blurted out trying to fix it. 

His face looked less scared and frantic "Fine, as long as I can clean up my apartment after" he nervously laughed running his fingers through his messy hair. Why was he so perfect? I nod agreeing to it, trying to take a sip of my tea, but it was too hot, out of habit it burst out "this coffee is hotter than the sun." I look at Armin hiding in the back. Armin why are you doing this now? I sigh setting my tea aside and looking out the windows again. Maybe this will workout.


	4. I'm tired, let me sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two unknowing homosexuals in a room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh!! I'm sorry, this is so late, I've been busy! I hope you enjoy the cuties!!

Jean Kirstein-

We got to my apartment and I quickly ran in and closed the door before Marco could see any of it, I rushed to clean everything in my temporary home, that I wished Mikasa would live with me in, but who knows, it could be someone else now. ~~Maybe even Marco.~~ I rushed throwing, folding, cleaning clothes off my bedroom floor and making sure there wasn't any brushed clumps of hair on the ground from my cat. "Oh well, Good enough" I thought as I looked around at the small space. Running back to the door as Marco was at the looks of it bored, "Marco?" I asked waving my hand in front of his face. 

"Oh, yea" he looked up a gentle smile on his face, was this kid an angel or something? I shrugged it off as he walked in and found his way to the cat "I didn't know you had a cat, Jean." He looked back at me surprised, "You don't seem like a cat person." He sat on the loaded cat hair couch as Popsicle nestled her way on his hand to pet her. 

"So Marco?" I asked not knowing what to say next, "I have some board games!" I bursted out instead of saying what I wanted. He looked up at me confused, before letting out a small giggle, then he burst out full on laughing. I stood there sheepishly, "What?" I looked around, then at myself to possibly find something funny, but there was nothing ~~no boner~~ no feather that would have tickled him.

"I won again!" He shouted for probably the 104th time as he had won the game of Monopoly, Chess, Clue, Checkers, Snakes and Slides, and even Candyland, all the games in my closet, Marco mastered and won against me! Marco is amazing but honestly too good at everything. I ended up laughing with him as the ticking of the grandfather clock was muted with the living angel in my living room, petting my cat, almost like he belonged here, he did belong here. I slammed my hand on the game board "One more!" I sent cards flying and paper money rippling through the air. 

After several more games Marco helped himself to laying on my bed, and since it was my bed I hopped right in next to him, just happy to not to be alone for once. I held Marco tightly in my arms feeling the warmth of his skin against my chest, wait can I hear his heartbeat? It's beating so fluently fast? I shrug it off hoping he wouldn't notice how strange and off beat my heart was, it was hopping around my ribcage like a bouncy house. I yawned before almost automatically kissing Marco's neck and whispering goodnight, instead I let out some strange good night which made Marco lazily laugh, before falling asleep

Marco Bott-

"Jean!" I tried calling to him before he closed the door in front of me. By the time my words got out he was already inside and throwing around things, you could hear all the way from out here, It was actually pretty cute on how much he cared. I sat down next to his door before standing up and in front of the door looking down at my phone, waiting. Finally Jean opened the door, his beautiful blonde hair messy from running around, I saw his cat first after I got my attention back, good, good way to distract myself from how beautiful he is. I knelt down on the carpet reaching out the Ginger cat, and stroked it's fluffy fur "You don't seem like a cat person." I responded to air, standing up again and welcoming myself to the couch, since my legs were starting to hurt from kneeling. 

"So Marco" he asked looking really nervous, he then burst out of nowhere "I have some board games!" It took me a while to adjust and realize what happened, I was looking up at him and I started lightly laughing, before I burst out unknowingly and I just held onto my stomach as the laughing took it's toll. I stopped, starting to lightly wheeze "Yea, Do you have Monopoly? Or any of the good games?" I asked standing up, the cat taking my place since it was still warm.

He did, he had the good old ones, in good condition too, mine are worn out from when I was a kid, with Levi, Armin, and Eren. After what seemed like an hour, which was probably over five hours, I had won many games and after every single one Jean would demand a rematch. I had dodged paper money, playing cards, chess pieces, all of them. After one of our last games I decided to wander, the determination of Jean was getting too hot, and it takes a lot to be too hot, especially when your Jean. I found his bedroom and I looked at all the neat things in his room.

"Why does he have so many of these things? My grandma doesn't even have this much stuff" I panicked when Jean was calling my name walking down the hall and asked him instead if I could borrow some clothes to sleep in, since I didn't want to go home tonight, not tomorrow, not ever. "Yea," He answered calmly, "Top drawer is my sweat pants, shirts are in the closet." I normally don't sleep with a shirt on but I put one on anyway, climbing into his bed I closed my eyes as he came in without a shirt, I wanted to watch his body flex and move as he undressed then dressed himself but my mind voted against it as he climbed in behind me, it was his bed, his room, his apartment, he could do whatever he wanted.

I wanted to turn over and just say good night, kiss him good night, and be his little spoon, but he was still not over Mikasa, it was just a few days ago, and I couldn't do anything about it. I shrug to myself and my mind decided that it was too hot, so my shirt was automatically removed without a thought, and perfectly folded before set on the floor. He mumbled something like goodnight, I didn't laugh at how cute, or dumb it was, I laughed at how angelic he was.

He is my angel in disguise, my to be husband, my one and only...

-Soulmate.


	5. why?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco has a nightmare in the middle of the night and Jean doesn't know what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be a fairly short chapter since I just want you guys to be able to just read something.

Marco Bott-

_There are flying monsters, attacking me, as Jean helped. I was on the ground crying, praying to whatever savior there was to help me. I was crying as the words got louder, like they were yelling at me. Where was my angel Jean, this isn't Jean, this can't be Jean. I was in pieces, literal and figuratively, I couldn't help myself nor ask any questions. I started to violently shake, wait... was I?_

My cheeks are stained with tears and I realized I was holding onto Jean tightly, still crying. Jean was shaking me trying to wake me up, he was confused, and concerned for me, and I didn't know if it was in a friend way or not. Who knows, I'll never know. "Marco," he assured me panic riding in the air, his cheeks you could tell even in the dark where glowing red, "Marco, it's _okay_ " I let go of him quickly, looking into his eyes as best I could, even though my vision was blurry and flooded with tears. He instead took me in his arms, sitting up, he didn't care if we are friends or more than friends, all he wanted to know was if I was okay, and I wasn't, but I couldn't tell him that, that's the thing. 

"Jean..." I mumbled into his t-shirt, slowly and unsteadily wrapping my arms around him and gripping the loose shirt in my hands, still shaking, "Jean..." I whispered, tears starting to run down my face again, and soaking into his shirt. 

"What's wrong?" He started to panic almost, I didn't want him to panic, no, this isn't how I wanted him to be. Why was he such a perfect angel but such a demon in my dreams? "Jean... Can I stay longer..." I didn't know how to word it, I just... I don't think I could live with myself like this, it seemed to reoccur every night, like he haunted my dreams, His perfect voice, his perfect figure, he was... perfect. 

Jean Kirstein-

I heard him crying, it was about four in the morning when I heard him, but I thought he was just making some noises in his sleep, I blew it off since, I didn't know how he slept, he slept how he slept, and to be honest it was pretty cute. After a while I noticed something, wait... was he crying? I opened my eyes to find him clinging to me, my cheeks began to glow bright red ~~oh my god he was so cute~~ I began to lightly shake his shoulder to try to wake him up, he was crying, and a mess, I can't travel through dreams, which would be pretty damn cool but I was concerned for what was going on.

He finally woke up after a while and he quickly let go, a flush of cold air gliding down my shirt, making me shiver a bit, before I asked him "Marco," I tried to assure him it was okay, after a minute or two I repeated "Marco." I didn't know what to do, he was always helping me, I wasn't like this, I never was like this. 

I sat up and decided I would just hug him, maybe that would help, He was shaking, but burning hot, I threw the blanket off of us, even though the cold air hit my skin and made me shiver lightly. He started to say me name "Jean..." He would mumble quietly, like he was trying to get my attention, he then did it again, quieter "Jean..." 

I felt his tears through my shirt, why was he crying, what in the world am I supposed to do? "What's wrong?" I ask confused, panicking, out of nowhere, his quiet voice, shaking he asked "Jean... Can I stay longer..." I couldn't deny, but I couldn't say a single word. I nodded holding Marco closer to me, I didn't want him to leave, but I didn't want to admit it.   
_He haunted my dreams.. him and his perfect voice, his perfect figure, he was... perfect_

**Author's Note:**

> I thank my best friend for this.  
> "It was four A.M. when I answered your text. You replied right as I was falling asleep. I sighed and read your message, "You're up?" the only people actually up this late are either heartbroken or in love and I knew he was heartbroken. I rubbed my sleepy eyes and wrote back. "Yes. Need to talk?" and he did. By five A.M. he was fast asleep and I wasn't. The only people up this late are the heartbroken and in love. I was in love with the boy that was heartbroken.  
> I would greatly enjoy if you guys read this and tell me if I should continue or ideas to add in along the way!


End file.
